Whisky and Navigation
In the whisky wars of the late 19th century Canadien distiller Seagrams tried to skirt the prohibition on whisky imports by importing grain and distilling stateside. Not one to be duped, Hiram Walker found out about this and put an agent on the ship, the Forest City.
This agent had a magnet in his pocket and got on to the bridge next to the compass causing the ship to steer headlong through the fog into the rock cliff on an island in Lake Huron off Tobermory Ontario. A piece of that ship is still jammed into that cliff about 50’ up but most of it lies 100’+ under the waves and fog a monument to subterfuge, poor navigation security, hubris, leadership…and booze
I was reminded of that wreck this morning when I witnessed navigational confusion in the ranks at the fork in the road at the south end of Pine. More than half the group peeled off behind Eric, leaving him stranded out front like a centurion without a legion, possibly headed to their doom in the morning mist.
Who knows that fate awaited them? I can only attribute this age old act of sabotage to Willie’s limitless ability infect all the group’s Garmin computers. Heartwarming to know navigation continues to be a development oppy and that Steves bike has a reverse gear. I can only imaging what happened at the fork of Glen and Farm…must have been an audible of epic proportions
HPG Velo Early morning ride @6:20 and some important early season reminders
As you know, we’ve been riding at 6:20a M-F and will continue to do so until further notice 🙂
A few reminders for those getting back into group riding and plan to ride the bagel loop (or weekends) with us. For those of us that ride every day, we can’t hammer every ride so please try to go with the flow if you’re only joining once in a while.
Here’s the loop schedule that hasn’t changed since April 1962:
Monday- Powissett loop (easy- for real)
Tuesday- Farm bagel
Wednesday- Backwards bagel (everyone’s fav)
Thursday- regular Glen bagel
Friday- Social (the original social pace since Saturday is usually harder day- this is the goal unless I’m feeling good and change my mind)
Some reminders:
1. We ride early in the morning when most normal people are sleeping. Voices carry so please try to be considerate. I don’t mind being the jerk to remind you on the ride, so there’s that. Please pay special attention to the start of the ride on Dover and Livingston since it’s dense residential. The db level is limited to 50db and no more than 2500hz, so this rules out more than a whisper, high pitched voices, and squeaky shoes, poorly lubed chains, Jim’s brakes, and Matthias’ hips.
2. Just point out holes- you only need to PMC yell when it’s a monster or a rock the size of a small child that I missed and took down Audrey and that I’ll regret from then until eternity. Otherwise we ride this course everyday and know most of the holes. If you hit the sinkhole on Harding downhill to the right of the manhole, you’ll only do that once. A quiet point works for almost everything. Think of this as being a ride with clairvoyants- we just know what to do and what’s going to happen next. Be that rider that just knows.
3. Slowing and stopping- Since we ride the same course every single freaking day, we know where the stop signs and red lights are, and don’t need to yell it out. Unexpected slowdowns or deer crossings sure, go for it, but normal “of course we’re going to slow down instead of barreling onto a cross street,” save it for your other groups. Pay attention and know where we are.
4. We pull and rotate counter-clockwise. This is like clockwise, but the opposite. This is especially important on the Sunday ride when we motor down Rt 27 and Tom Snow, like clock work, yells “PACELINE!. The deal here is that we take short pulls, and pull over to the left just in front of the person who just pulled, unless of course if you’re Italian or live in Cambridge, then you’re allowed to pull off the front fun as long as your want, and accelerating wildly rocking side to side and totally destroy the paceline causing havoc in the back until Eric restores order and forms a new paceline behind you while Steve goes apoplectic.
5. Generally, when it’s your turn to pull, if you want to show you have more testosterone than the last person, please do so gradually.
6. Notwithstanding the foregoing, remember the person that just pulled up the hill, or took a monster pull, is usually toast. Out of pure human dignity and respect, please give them a few pedal strokes before you Froome them.
7. Please make sure your bike is in good working order. Loose stem nuts rattle (and for gods sake just because Landry’s puts them on, you don’t need them), properly stocked saddle bag is helpful so Eric can change your flat if you don’t know how, quiet chain, and quiet brakes. Yes, Jim, this means you. Toe those babies in or bring your bike over and I’ll work on your brakes.
8. Yellow line rule always except for me when its a quiet road and the right side is totally chopped up, like the decent after Nagog hill.
9. This year, let’s try to be extra cautious about spitting and farmers blows around other riders.
10. And last but not least, I have gotten better about letting people stop for more than 45 seconds (after at least 2.5 hrs of riding minimum), but please don’t push it. I could get cranky at any time without notice.
11. There’s always an eleven- It’s great to see and ride with friends again.
Roaming Rally Explorers Edition 2019
“If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together”
General Observations and Musings
- 800 miles off pavement over 3 days in remote southern Quebec looks a lot shorter and more manageable on paper
- Bob continues to put the crazy in “Crazy Bob.” I. Now. Understand.
- I should not have taken a 570 lb R1200 GSA on a ride like this….doable but not recommended.
- The number of times Big Betty had to be lifted from her periodic naps: I counted 6 but Erik and Bob assure me it was over a dozen. They are certainly much closer to the truth. I’ll be buying Bob and Erik beer for the rest of their lives.
- Erik should not navigate
- Bob will navigate for life.
- The mosquito is the Canadian national bird and the black fly is his wingman.
- The GSA starts the day at 570 lbs. After 11 hrs. in the saddle it easily weighs 3,000 lbs
- That Erik could own loose gravel and sand on a road bike with a 17” front wheel is astounding
- That Bob could achieve the speed he did on loose shifty, drifty gravel is mind boggling
- If the inuits have 50 words to describe snow, the Quebecqois MUST had 600 words to describe the varieties of gravel they use to surface their roads.
- This was an experience of a lifetime. I feel privileged to have completed it and to have experienced it in the company (and with the help) of Erik and Bob; outstanding human beings and riders they are.
800 miles over 3 days in remote southern Quebec
Casualties
- Photography. For me to take very few pics means I was strung out, exhausted and very near my limit.
- 5 hand blisters from lifting and gravel wrestling Big Betty
- One license plate (Bob)
- one dented front rim (Bob)
- Copious amounts of pride (me)
- Pet’s Fitzpatrick’s Africa Twin foot peg (cast alloy , bad design…note to self…). Donating one of my highway pegs to his cause felt good. Nice to give back and save his weekend. Amazing he then rode 2.5 days on that terrain with a makeshift, staggered / offset footage that didn’t allow him to use his rear brake…at least not easily.
- My phone screen. Destroyed in tank bag from vibration and poor protection.
The Approach
Ottawa was about a 10 hour drive. A tad slower than normal due to trailing bikes. Half hour wait at the border the usual snooty scrutineering. Having a record of a Canadian work permit on file made entry a tad easier. Ironically, coming home was even snootier…
8 of the 10 hours was in the driving rain. Good times. We made it to the Best Western on the west side of Ottawa after sitting in over a half hour of rush hour traffic. By that point I was convinced the caribou got spooked crossing the highway, got their antlers tangled and they had to call in the Mounties to get them sorted.
The soggy approach
We went straight to the bar. I thought beer never tasted so good. Little did I know…
Day One
Friday morning started lovely ‘cept for the fact that 8 hours of high speed immersion therapy the day before had apparently rendered my dash nearly inoperable. I seemed to be staring down the barrel of spending 3 days in the wilderness not knowing what gear I was in or (more critically) whether my traction control and ABS were turned off.
Luckily vibration and airflow dried it out by about 11 AM and I was back in business. Note to self: Saran wrap that sucker next time. I also couldn’t get the GPS to auto center and follow the GPS track…I didn’t figure that out until I got home. Noob error. It’s not intuitive, but like so many things its easy once you know how to do it.
The ride out of Ottawa was a lovely parkway along the river. By mid to late morning we were rolling through nice firm dirt road tracks and then back onto gorgeous rolling paved farm road country. Stunning. Then more dirt to end a 135 mile morning at our lunch and gas stop. That’s when Betty decided to take her first nap. Erik and Bob weren’t there for that one though so, technically, it didn’t happen. Donated a highway peg here to Pete Fitzpatrick who was in danger of hobbling back to Ottawa on pavement with one foot peg. Turns out he’s a retired commercial diver from Northern Ireland. I knew there was a reason I liked him.
Highway Peg to the rescue…she was much loved
Yours truly coaxing Betty from her slumber…again
Erick and Crazy Bob trading bikes enjoying the spectacular scenery
After another 116 miles of dirt of assorted flavors (I don’t remember much of this section…I was pretty knackered by this stretch) we arrived and the hunting lodge Fer a Cheval which translates as horse shoe…but I preferred the more literal translation to iron horse. Seemed more appropriate.
Fer a Cheval
Upon arrival we were greeted by swarms of the Canadian national bird and his wingmen. In true Canadian hunting lodge fashion, trophies were on full display.
Our new furry friends
Arrival was accompanied, of course by another Betty Nap combined with a partial donut on parking lot gravel of stones nearly the size of my fist. With 10 lbs of pride gone and a team lift assist behind us it was time for beer, shower and dinner….in that order…I think.
Food was outstanding. A FB post I found said the chef was trained in Paris and reminded us to “never trust a skinny chef. Check on both counts. Welcome to Paris West.
Day 2
Let the Games Begin.
This was going to be a 250 mil day. 100 miles longer than Day 1. All off road. We left before breakfast and the lodge owner was nice enough to give us bag lunches instead of breakfast. The rally organizers gave us 2 options in our GPS for the first leg: an easier, loose-gravel-road-more-of-the-same-shit-from-the-day-before, or… a harder route with loose rock strewn clmbs and endless sand. Of course we opted for the harder route.
Looks easy…untill you do it a dozen times over 250 miles
We start out back tracking on some loose gravel for several miles before turning on to an ATV track that, more or less followed miles of power lines. Lots of sand but it never felt that intimidating. Second gear at low rpm on the GSA is like a tractor…organic traction control. Feels really good. That combined with airing down to 27 lbs (per Jimmy Lewis’ instruction) kept traction consistent and predictable.
Crazy Bob prepares for the assist…again…
Until we stopped. Or had to turn around due to navigational error. This was a shit show…for me. Turning Betty around on narrow, sandy trails is just way above my pay grade. Down she went. And Again, and…
The crux of this section was a rocky up hill where I dropped her again. Got some additional help from guys from Nova Scotia (both on 650s….hmmmmm….) hauled Betty back from the brink and we were on our way. They key was DON’T stop, and if you had to, stop at the TOP of the hills when in sand.
A brief photo opp. I think Crazy Bob is off in the distance impatiently waiting for us.
The sand gave way to absolutely stunning ATV trails in the woods and along a river for miles. Bob found a moose and had to back off to not overly stress her. This would be about the only reason Bob would ever slow down.
Quebec has no shortage of water…or hydro power
While there were more ATV trails after a lunch / gas stop, including a water crossing that, for reasons still unknown to all, inspired Erik to ride through the MIDDLE of it. I really wish Bob had captured video of this (I was, as usual, pulling up the / my rear…) but I am told Erik’s bike went into the hole OVER his handlebars. Amazing he didn’t drown the bike. Momentum was his friend.
The rest of the afternoon was a blur. What I do remember was endlessly slogging down loose, shifty gravel roads at 30 – 40 mph. That felt safe. Erik and Bob? Well….they were faster. Every 10 or 20 miles they would stop and wait for me.
Erik looking WAY more chipper than me.
Meanwhile, I think every Quebecqois is issued a pickup truck, ATV and trailable boat at birth and they, apparently, all drive them down these gravel roads at the same time at 60+ mph. This creates white out dust where you can’t see 5 ft in front of you. Good times.
This is where I began to have an epiphanous and almost existential realization about these roads. You develop a relationship with them. They are all different and their moods change unexpectedly, but you learn to trust them. Pick and hold your line. Trust the surface. Trust the turn radius. and trust your machine too. It’s like achieving results through others. Individually, the road, bike or rider can’t move forward. Together though…remarkable things are accomplished.
Then again, I may have just been delirious by that point.
Yours truly keeping the handlebars ABOVE the water line.
Somewhere on one of these roads was a BIG hole. I hit it at a humane speed and the GSA’s mass and suspension travel ate it rather nicely. How Erik survived in on 17” cast wheels and what is essentially a road bike with 5” of travel is just mind boggling. Mad skills. Bob, was going…er…just a tad faster and even with a 21” front wheel ended up denting it. This may also have been where Bob parted ways with his license plate.
An orderly line up after 11 hrs and 250 miles in the dirt. Remarkable.
After 11 hours in our saddles we rolled into another hunting lodge. The driveway was 15 miles long. Later Erik and Bob said they could have done another 100 mi. I am not worthy. If the driveway had been another 100 meters long I wouldn’t have made it….would had done a Ewan McGreggor dismount (thanks Bob) and let Betty nap right there.
Beer NEVER tasted so good. Way better than Thursday night’s…
Day 3
A beautiful sunrise to start Day 3
By our third day everything started to settle down. The morning started with about 2 hours of nice and predictable (for a change) gravel to about an hour run of pavement down rt. 117 to Mont Laurier for lunch. The afternoon consisted of backtracking on much of Day 1’s route, which, by this point felt like a cake walk. A little coaching from Bob (another former mountain bike racer) and Erik also helped my technique, comfort and overall speed. In short, I had to relearn my mountain bike racing skills…intuitive on a bicycle but intimidating on a 570 lb. beast. Digging these skills back out of the closet was huge.
Crazy Bob looked more and more like The Stig with each passing day
One route variation was a little 10 min ferry across the Ottawa river…a welcome mid ride moment of reflection. The final miles were highway back into the city. Measured and careful, all I wanted to do at this point was to stick the landing.
….aaannnndd a ferry crossing for good measure.
Postscript
Being back in civilization was a bit odd. Ottawa is an interesting and diverse city. Erik ensured we sampled what the evenings in Ottawa had to offer. Definitely felt like creepy old men!
Bob’s contribution to Quebec’s landfill efforts via his license plate donation created a US immigration hurdle on the way back. Not sure now long it took but the uniformed gentlemen impounded his truck, trailer and Erik’s bike for some time until they could get it sorted. I rolled by them at the border but the men in blue wouldn’t let me in the lot…
In the end I think we are all very glad we did this but we all likely have different reasons. Personally, I need to periodically test myself and push myself physically and emotionally near my limit. Mission accomplished.
Would we do it again? Me: Probably only on a smaller bike or accompanied by a team of sumo wrestlers. Erik and Bob: likely next weekend…
Crazy Bob knows how to celebrate a great trip…and how to look good doing it.
HPG Velo Friday social
If C group leaves at O Dark Thirty and travels an average of 15.2 and B group leaves at 540 traveling at 15.8 and A group leaves at 545 traveling at 21.2 but smoked a bone first they raided from their kid’s stash:
1. Who passes who first?
2. Who half wheels who first?
3. Who wrecks first?
4. Who wins the Claybrook sprint in the dark?
5. How many Lemmon Poppy Seed muffins does A group consume at Peet’s post ride?
Inquiring minds demand answers.
On Jan 3, 2019, at 8:55 PM, Tim Donahue <tpd001> wrote:
I heard the A, B, and C groups all left at the same time last time. Total organizational breakdown. Who’s in charge of this ride, anyway? Next you’ll be taking detours through some mythical apple orchard or something. The horror.
On 1/3/2019 8:29 PM, ecohen106 wrote:
Oh dang- I don’t wanna miss this 😦
Don’t go. Come to my class instead. New music and new kit.
Awe….all alone…..
6 Gap Recap- Just like Tom Snow
Excellent update Eric, I feel like I was there. The salt stains must have been epic!
I have a 6 Gap of my own I’m working on; this being summer there is a 6 bottle gap of rose in our wine fridge. Filling it wil likely require careful deliberation and many calories spent.
Another great Dan Goldman 6-Gap ride in the books, except I didn’t make it to the last page…We escaped the rain, but it was replaced with hot and humid weather. For those that know me, that’s not a good combo as I sweat a lot and dehydrate easily. Lincoln gap- hated every second of it. App gap, not so bad. Roxbury starting to find my legs and motored up pretty well. Rochester gap-not so bad. Brandon Gap, uh oh, but still feeling “OK.” Start of Middlebury, not so much. by the middle of Middlebury it was clear I was in trouble… I was cramping in every muscle, including my hands.
In the attached photo you can see me on the left at top of Middlebury hanging over my bars. Libby knew I was a goner. I made it another 13 miles or so and called it quits at the Warren country store and texted Libby who came and got me about 3 miles from the finish back at Dan’s. Libby basically took care of me the rest of the day and night- thank you, Libby.
On more exciting news. As the youngest DG 6-gap rider, Mia [we don’t even need to use her last name since she already has rockstar status like Beyonce, Sia, Iggy, Willie, and Prince] completed here first 6-gap ride without any troubles and finished way before me and very strong. She’s one tough athlete. Dad Matthias and brother Fred did the 4-gapper w/o issue. Mia and I spent most of the day together until she dropped me on Middlebury. [I detect a trend of getting dropped toward the end of long rides by faster women…] After 4 gaps I was secretly hoping Mia would want to bag it and need an escort home. No such luck. That is one cool family.
Others that rode were Jake I, Paul W, Libby, Alicia, Audrey, Alicia, Karen Packman, Kent D, and lots of 545 folks. The aforementioned all looked like they just came out of a hot tub rested and looking fresh. Not sure how they did that. I looked and felt like death.
On the funny side, while I was cramping up Middlebury and doing everything I could to stay moving forward, so was Alan McEwen, who ended up hitch-hiking up Middlebury and passing me to the top. Another rider, Adam, forgot to pause Strave and now has the KOM for Middlebury going 55mph UPHILL! I was heads down and never saw a thing. Reminds me of Tom Snow on our first (and maybe second 6-gap ride together- or was it two hitch-hikes in one ride?).
Highly recommended if you have not done a 6-gap ride before. Each year gets harder and slower. I used to do this in 39×25, then x 27, yesterday 28, and it’s just never enough…
2018 Ray Ride!
Well another edition is in the books, and Ray would be proud! Well done you all!
Jean, great to see you, Julie we missed you!
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HPG Velo Paceline lawsuit
HPGers –
This is an official reminder to those who are on the HPG-VELO group distribution list that use of this list is a privilege, not a right, granted by the one of the founders – Steve Cutter. As his twin brother separated at birth by ten years, I feel both obligated to and responsible for maintaining HPG-VELO content integrity as his proxy. As such, I take issue with Mr. Donahue’s latest posting, which is in the forbidden category “DEPRESSING AS SHIT.” HPG-VELO topic categories include the following:
- CONFUSION ON THE START TIME
- CONFUSION ABOUT THE START PLACE
- ATTEMPTS TO BORROW, BUY, SELL OR TRADE BICYCLE COMPONENTS, FRAMES, OR CLOTHING
- EXPOSITIONS ON WHY ASSOS CLOTHING IS SO SUPERIOR
- STRAVA LINKS FOR PRETEND RIDES ON ZWIFT
- UPLIFTING REPORTS ON THE WEATHER AND PARTICIPANTS AFTER THE RIDE (e.g., No rain today & good turnout)
- LAME EXCUSES ON WHY A CERTAIN HPGer CANNOT MAKE A PLANNED RIDE (e.g.,Baby naming, in Rochester, getting ready for a sidewalk sale, etc.)
- IMPORTANT LIFE ANNOUNCEMENTS (e.g., chickens are laying eggs, someone has not picked up his/her HPG kit, Giuseppe is in Hawaii again, etc.)
- BIRTHDAYS, NEW BUSINESS OPPORTUNITIES and CURLING EVENTS (both amateur and professional)
- and finally DEPRESSING AS SHIT
Categories 1 through 9 are acceptable categories. Category 10 is not. An HPGer, if he/she were to email on the topic DEPRESSING AS SHIT, is given a first warning. I hereby, under the authority granted to me by Steve Cutter issue such a warning to Mr. Donahue. Were Mr. Donahue to submit another DEPRESSING AS SHIT email, this would be grounds for a formal review of his ongoing rights to be included on the HPG-VELO distribution list. Such a review could result in his expulsion, which is not to say that Mr. Donahue is not a valued and long time member; but his esteemed position does not give him the right to submit topics within the DEPRESSING AS SHIT category.
John
On Fri, Mar 30, 2018 at 12:45 PM, Tim Donahue <tpd001> wrote:
HPG Velo Assos
Damon –
Thanks for reaching into the way back bin for that ASSOS exchange! In the six degrees of separation spirit, vis a vis ASSOS and the HPG, here are the following facts:
- Greg Avis, a BA Williams grad, bought ASSOS as part of an investor group ASSOS http://www.bicycleretailer.com/international/2015/09/11/investors-acquire-majority-stake-assos.
- Who in the HPG is also a BA Williams grad and knows Greg quite well?
- There is such a person, but I do not have permission to use his or her name.
- The only fact I can share with you is that he or she is one of the very few active chicken farmers in Wellesley.
- Given this one degree of separation between the HPG chicken farmer and the ASSOS investor, it would seem to me that the HPG could do a lot better than Tim getting occasional love notes from KIM!
- LIKE FREE GEAR!!!
John
On Sun, Mar 11, 2018 at 4:34 PM, Damon Bates <damonbates1> wrote:
1. John I’ll refresh your memory here: https://hpgbike.com/2014/05/25/assos-they-just-do-some-things-better/
2. The white ribbon is in liu of a happy ending since the Italian Swiss border is quite removed from south natick. See featured image in #1 above for clarity
3. Zippers can be found on vintage Assos knickers and tights. I have several pair of each, all on their 2nd or 3rd chamois complements of Tim’s new Italian-Swiss BFF
HPG Velo Assos
1. John I’ll refresh your memory here: https://hpgbike.com/2014/05/25/assos-they-just-do-some-things-better/
2. The white ribbon is in liu of a happy ending since the Italian Swiss border is quite removed from south natick. See featured image in #1 above for clarity
3. Zippers can be found on vintage Assos knickers and tights. I have several pair of each, all on their 2nd or 3rd chamois complements of Tim’s new Italian-Swiss BFF
WILLIE APPEARS IN MECHANICAL DOPING SCANNER
HPGers –
Did you read the latest Cycling News article on mechanical doping? I was surprised to see Dr. William Monkey’s image on the scanning screen of the device used to detect mechanical doping. (see attached screen shot from article).
I was able to contact Willie, who is now in Korea, to find out why his likeness would appear on a mechanical doping scanner. His explanation is as follows:
“Of course my image appeared – part of my trademark agreement with the UCI. David Lappartient was thoroughly briefed on my ongoing study of mechanical doping when he became UCI president in September. Under UCI direction and sponsorship, I have been recruiting human volunteers for a within-subjects, placebo-controlled, double-blind, cross-over pilot study to determine what advantage mechanical doping gives, if any, compared to WTMB.”
Willie went on to explain that his research is to be published in a new medical quarterly, WTMQ (Willie the Monkey Quarterly). Willie told me in confidence that he is encouraged by the early results, which show WTMB to be far superior to mechanical doping, AND impossible to detect.
John
HPG Velo WILLIE SETS OFF NUCLEAR ALARM
HPGers –
Willie had posted this photo on Instagram (see attached). With the Winter Olympics coming up, Willie is planning to be in Pyeongchang next week as official team uniform supplier to the Russian athletes. Apparently on his way over, he decided to stop in Honolulu, hack into the NORAD control center, and create a panic by sending out a nuclear alarm.
I whatsapp’ed the Doctor, and he explained that this is a fact: Giuseppi is not playing fair by going to Maui to ride his bike for the next five weeks when the rest of us are stuck in New England riding in the bitter cold or worse (think Computrainer). To right this wrong, he did what only a monkey of Willie’s intellect can do – create a diversion that would cause Giuseppi to cancel his plans.
Did it work? Giuseppi, please check in.
John
HPG Velo Fwd: Can the Length of Sweden (Long Ride) become the longest HPG email thread in HPG email history?
Excellent John, I will need to look that porno up. I must have missed it.
In your search for “fact based” tidbits you may have overlookd the fact that out Butt Nugget In Chief has prohibited the use of seven words or phrases today:
and “fact based” is likely close enough to “evidence based” to get you on a watch list. My advice: becareful and seek willie’s guidance and his friends protection.
| Damon Bates | ||
| 80 Maple Street Sherborn, MA 01770 Mobile (781) 254-8767 |
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| Visit us at: www.damonbatesphotography.com Follow us on: http://www.damonbatesphotographyblog.com/ |
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On Dec 16, 2017, at 9:36 PM, John Whisnant <jwwhisnant> wrote:
Tim –
You started this controversy, and I hope my internet search for a fact based response may end it. Through the magic of google algorithms, I was able to find that in fact The Length of Sweden is the title of a porno vimeo (see attached). In addition, and even more incredibly, it appears as if Willie may have been a porn star before he became a doctor!John
On Sat, Dec 16, 2017 at 7:57 PM, Tim Donahue <tpd001> wrote:
So far this thread has gone over like a
On 12/16/2017 5:47 PM, Damon Bates wrote:
John I’m reasonably confident that the longest HPG thread ever debated the pros and cons of (you) changing out bottom bracket parts at the start line of major races perhaps even the Senior Olympics.
Runner-up topic for the longest thread was probably the heated and protracted discussion of yellow cards versus red cards being handed out passing on the Hills by the Weston country club in the face of oncoming traffic?
On Dec 16, 2017, at 1:05 PM, John Whisnant <jwwhisnant> wrote:
Subject: Can the Length of Sweden (Long Ride) become the longest HPG email thread in HPG email history?
HPGers-
Due to Tim’s ability to spark controversy and then deny any obvious intent and Damon’s and my inability to let things go, the email thread re: The Length of Sweden (X rated) is now 10 exchanges long. Not bad for such an inconsequential topic, but there have been many that were much longer.
Does anyone know which is the longest HPG thread in HPG email history? I’m thinking it was Thom asking if anyone knew a good Wellesley area plumber. This would be so wrong if true. Or maybe it was the thread about LED bike lights? If someone can come up with the longest email thread count, I have no doubt that Damon and I single handedly can extend the Length of Sweden until it occupies the top spot.
John
mail to hpg-velo+unsubscribe.
For more options, visit https://groups.google.com/d/optout.
HPG Velo Cycling safety survey results
HPGers
Since Damon asked about fatalities per million hours for WTM clients, he whatsapped me that on a per client basis, none of his clients are yet 114 years old (1M hours = 114 years). Since dying before then would exclude them from the database and ensuing analysis, none of his clients are considered dead by this British standard.
In addition, Willie cannot emphasize enough that he cannot remember if Serena, Venus or Simone were his clients after he became overheated and dehydrated, which then triggered selective amnesia. Similar to Lance and his backdated cortisone prescription, Willie has a prescription to treat this condition but is planning to say no more about this or any of the other athletes the Russians have outed or will out. Russians are such ingrates given all that Willie did for them in Rio.
John
On Wed, Sep 14, 2016 at 4:56 PM, Damon Bates <damonbates1> wrote:
Interesting…particularly the “living all causes” number…which I feel is slightly understated.
One of the benefits of working for a highly rated life insurance company is that we get to do cutting edge research. Well we’ve done that research and (surprise) we learned that everyone dies.
Now Im not an actuary (I only play one in cyberspace) but I believe all the activities listed should result in a lower probability of death than “living all causes” which should have an expected value of 1.0 …or significantly more per million hours than shown …no?
Might be interesting to know too, how many deaths per million hrs Willie has observed in his WTMB clients??
On Sep 14, 2016, at 1:01 PM, thomas snow <tgsnow> wrote:
http://cyclehelmets.org/1026.html
Interesting article on bicycling safety based on data from UK.
Cycling is safer than Living per this survey…Risk by time (US)
Fatalities per million hours Less safe Sky diving 128.71 General aviation 15.58 On-road motorcycling 8.80 Scuba diving 1.98 Living (all causes of death) 1.53 Swimming 1.07 Snowmobiling 0.88 Passenger cars 0.47 Water skiing 0.28 Bicycling 0.26 Safer Flying (scheduled domestic airlines) 0.15 Hunting 0.08 Cosmic radiation from transcontinental flights 0.035 Home living (active) 0.027 Traveling in a school bus 0.022 Passenger car post-collision fire 0.017 Home living (including sleeping) 0.014 Residential fire 0.003
HPG Velo Saturday ride reinforces HPG Rules of Disorder
HPGers –
The ride this morning, once we got to Concord, exemplified and serves to reinforce the four fundamental HPG Rules of Disorder (ROD as in “Spare the ROD and spoil the cyclist”):
- RULE ONE: There shall be no agreement on where we shall meet for the ride start
- Most of us agreed to meet at Peet’s at 8am
- But for reasons known only to Giuseppe, he and he alone wanted to meet at Weston center
- Ergo – the 14 Peet’s originated cyclists detoured to meet solo Giuseppe with no complaints or bickering
RULE TWO: There shall be no agreement on where we are going once we do not agree on where we shall meet for the ride start
- Some wanted to go to to Hollis
- Some were going to Carlisle
- Some were going to do Carlisle ‘expanded’
RULE THREE: There shall be no agreement on who is going where once do not agree on where we are going and where we shall meet for the ride start
- With three routes in mind, we all went up Monument together
- Which was good until we got on Rt. 225
- Then some of us turned right for Carlisle ‘expanded’
- Some went straight to continue to Fern’s to go to Hollis
- Some went straight even though they had meant to turn right
RULE FOUR: There shall be no agreement on how to reorganize once there is no agreement on who is going where and where we are going and where we shall meet for the ride start
- Some who turned right decided to turn around and chase down to bring back those whom they thought meant to turn right but had not
- Some stopped to wait – thinking we would regroup by default
- Some continued on to the beaver dam to wait there with no plan in mind
- Minutes ticked by. Then more minutes.
RULES OF DISORDER OUTCOME: With no agreement on how to reorganize once there is no agreement on who is going where and where we are going and where we shall meet for the ride start, everything will work according to the plan which we didn’t make in the first place
- Steve, Thom and I bailed out and went to Fern’s to have a coffee.
- As we were about to leave, figuring everyone would eventually get back to Peet’s on their own or in small groups, the entire Carlisle group had somehow reassembled and rode by.
- Thom and Steve joined them, and I went back to Cambridge on 225.
Rides like this are invaluable since they serve to reinforce the fundamental HPG Rules of Disorder. Great ride!
John
Audrey the Rock Star
As you may know, Audrey and I rode 6 Gap yesterday with a group of 42 other riders. If you have not ridden it before, it’s about 136mi and 13,000ft of climbing. It’s pretty brutal. It’s my 7th or so time doing it and Audrey’s first. The route was Lincoln gap, App Gap, Roxbury, Rochester (with long lunch and lots of parking lot circles), Brandon gap, and Middlebury- then 15 miles back to the car.
After flatting on Middlebury gap i chased my group. Just to punctuate how well she’s riding, Audrey’s time on the same Middlebury climb of the day was faster than mine. This is a very tough ride and Audrey is even tougher. Dang!
Congrats to Audrey for a super day and for absolutely crushing one of the hardest rides around.
I’ve attached the profile if interested..
HPG Velo Quabin Ride Recap
Complements of Eric:
I’ll do a quick recap here and others can add to it. I can never finish reading the long ones so I’ll assume same here. Yesterday was Jon McNeill’s B2B option and it didn’t disappoint. Compatible riders, great weather, and a really nice route. Prior to the ride Jon sent out an email detailing some basic rules of the road and something about riding easy when it’s hard and easy when it’s not. At least that was my plan for the first 125 miles. The route was clockwise out to the Quabbin, north to watchusett at mile 130, climb and head home. I didn’t realize we were doing watchusett until the night before when I texted G to confirm. >
> My son Ari and Eric Poch’s daughter, Geneva, did a nice job sagging the ride. No one ever neded anything but food and water. No mechanicals and no biological bonks to necessitate any additional support. Not a single flat or anything. >
> There was a god sized group for the first leg until the first stop at 42.5 miles. Tom, Thomas, Lewis, Audrey, Mikey, Andy K, G, Rob- about 20 ish ppl total. all turned back home except 8 of us. We took it easy through he next stop at about mile 78. Easy day so far. How great is it to Kessler back on the bike and riding so well. Love him. The 8 on the full ride were Jon, mike Moran, Lebo, Rob, me, G, Eric Poch, Alan. >
> The course was great and scenic. Through the quabbin, up to the fire tower ( complete with imminent wedding)’ and plenty of quiet country roads. Giuseppe was riding like a little puppy dog and at one point said to me “I’m going to do whatever you do.” Ie ride conservatively. That lasted for about 3 mins. He felt good until the watchusett climb at mile 130. I could see his smile slowly disappearing. Just like mine did 30 miles earlier. Rob- he just kept going like it was just another Sunday ride. >
> I started to feel a little sick and got a wicked headache between 100-115 and wondered if I could make the climb. I took on some water, electrolytes and switched to cafienated gel. Rob all the while showed no signs of being tired, ever. At the mile115 rest stop, I wasn’t circling to leave and G knew something was wrong… >
>
> Approaching the long climb from the south to watchusett I could see G and 4 others way ahead. There was no way I was going to let them drop me on the climb. The gel had kicked in and I caught and passed the group and only steve Lebo could stay with me. He and I finished with steve about 20m ahead of me. I had my second wind that lasted the rest of the day. Everyone did well on the climb and the decent. At the last stop on 117 near 495, my favorite section to pull long and hard, Jon asked we ride at a pace to keep everyone together. Darn. 19 to go. >
> Amazingly by the end, everyone was strong and felt good. No one was toast or feeling spent. Since we all rode smartly and had well timed stops, the ride didn’t kill us. I’m sure everyone had there own little issues they were dealing with, but everyone worked hard to get through them and finish really stong. I don’t know about the others, but 12 hours later, I’m still 6lbs down from my starting weight… >
> Total for me from Weston Ctr 175.6 and 11,100 ft of climbing. I’m glad G convinced me to put on my 27. >
>
HPG Sox Arrive at Peet’s…I feel faster already…
Well, they made it. Finally. They will make us all faster I’m sure. Kudos to Eric for putting up with all of us. No good deed goes unpunished. Nothing like a little Peet’s Coffee to make your sox small better.
2014 “Pulled Pork” Dover Team Time Trial
The HPG fielded 2 teams this year and, in classic HPG for as of this writing both teams were disqualified for only sending 5 riders each off the line… Aside from that however a grand time was had by all. Douglas and his bride out did themselves with a phenomenal after party. Looking forward to next year already.
| Overall results | |||
| Team | Time | Place | Delta |
| Goldman | 0:30:01 | 1 | 0:00:00 |
| McNeil | 0:30:15 | 2 | 0:00:14 |
| Snow | 0:30:52 | 3 | 0:00:51 |
| Chrystal | 0:31:46 | 4 | 0:01:45 |
| HPG2 | 0:31:58 | 5 | 0:01:57 |
| HPG1 | 0:32:10 | 6 | 0:02:09 |
| MEMC 1 | 0:32:15 | 7 | 0:02:14 |
| Blue Ginger | 0:32:28 | 8 | 0:02:27 |
| MEMC 2 | 0:33:21 | 9 | 0:03:20 |
| MEMC 3 | 0:34:28 | 10 | 0:04:27 |
Walter Haywood Returns!
It’s always a pleasure when Walter returns. Since moving to Florida almost a decade ago we only see him on special occasions. Thanks to Steve and Nancy for hosting our reunion!
-
- Walter Haywood
Assos…They Just Do Some Things Better
For some reason this exchange from a few years back, particularly John’s inspired list of potential causes of chamois wear, inspiringly funny…
On 9/22/09 2:45 PM, “Damon Bates” wrote:
All of you inbox challenged folk may delete this now.
First , Tom D., congrats on your brand spankin new bionic knee, hope you are feeling better and back in the saddle soon.
Second, I thought Id share my first experience w/ Assos customer service dept. Sept 1st ish I sent back 2 pair of Roubaix Knickers Ive had for 3+ years. They see heavy use (and diligent care) 9 mos of the year and are the most frequently worn items I have. The chamois had come unstitched on the sides and needed to be resewn and their website provides instructions on how to return etc
I got them back yesterday , individually shrink wrapped and packaged the way only the Swiss can. BUT, they didn’t just sew on the chamois, the replaced theentire pad. And they do all this for free. Note that this is not warrantee service, they just do it.
In a world of often miserable customer service and ridiculous fees from banks, airlines, et al, It’s nice to know that some companies are still committed to excellence
It was a small inspirational moment I thought worth passing along.
I wore a pair this morning and of course got dropped like stone on Farm. But I was happy and comfy.
From: John Whisnant
Sent: Tuesday, September 22, 2009 9:29 PM
Damon –
What a great company. I am sending back my Assos for repair immediately as soon as you send me their mailing address. If it were my company, I would at least ask what was the cause of the knickers chamois wear so that I could use this information to improve an already great product. For example, Assos could have asked the following:
Damon, please check the appropriate box to let us know what caused your chamois to need repair:
1. Fire in the hole after a particularly tasty burrito with extra hot sauce the night before.
2. Trying to impress the Crack o’ Dawn more feminine riders with an extra cucumber that stretched the fabric to the breaking point.
3. Using a wire brush to try to ‘erase’ chamois skid marks.
4. Using the knickers as a Depends substitute during a company performance review.
5. Thinking that wearing your knickers over your head while drinking Belgium beer can only add to how incredibly funny you are and the holiday-like festivities.
6. Forgetting to apply Assos crème (yes you need to use the correct European spelling) prior to a Saturday Carlisle ride.
7. Not scheduling your next Brazilian Bikini waxing in time and having resulting pubic stubble abrade the chamois, especially around the anus (the Swiss are very precise in their questions).
8. Fire in the hole after a particularly tasty low fat poppy seed muffin at Peet’s.
9. You don’t know since you are actually sending in Oscar Lazaro’s Assos knickers for repair, which he got from Giuseppe after he emailed the HPG asking if anyone had a pair of large Assos knickers they weren’t using for the next two months.
10. All of the above.
John
From: Bates, Damon
Sent: Wednesday, September 23, 2009 6:19 PM
Asking for the cause of the damage is a great idea….for Plebian American Capitalist Entrepreneurial New World Gringo Peasant Religious Radical types like us.
But, these are the Swiss we’re dealing with here….Italian Swiss to be specific. They ALREADY KNOW what the causes are and they even tell you about them on their website…and offer to repair it for free, if humanly possibly, because life happens
Check it out: http://www.assos.com/en/24/default.aspx
From: Bates, Damon
Sent: Tuesday, October 20, 2009 11:32 AM
So I sent a Assos an inspired thank you note for exceeding my expectations wrt the aforementioned Roubaix Knickers repair and I receive a a personal note from the GM and a box today w/ an Assos “Fan Pack” consisting of a very attractive coffee mug and a towel creatively (and efficiently of course…) packaged in a nice box about the size of a champagne bottle gift box.
Love this company. Maybe we can buy it? LBO? Wait it’s Swiss…perhaps we could just make their espresso?
The Sun Always Shines in Wellesley…
…but pedal ones way out of town on a saturday morning in late spring and all bets are off. Today’s debut ride for the spanking new HPG kits planned for Hollis turned into an aborted Carlisle mission when the rubber side went up. All got home safe and sound though and lived to fight another day….oh and the sun was still shining in Wellesley sans pluie
2008 B2B – Eric Cohen
Waiting for those ride reports. From what I could see, we had a strong showing with riders looking strong up to the point I left at mile 63 atop the hill in Ridge, NH.
The day got off to a confused start when some of us decided to ride with Sean who realized that he was the Captain of the 17mph group, and not the 18. So before we left with Sean, we made a frantic search for Steve Cutter and Rich Benner. Couldn¹t find either, but we left anyways. Nice, huh?
Steve figured it out and chased us down. I never did see Rich again. Giuseppewas itching to ride hard, and most of us resisted. So we got dropped around mile 59. I could see Giuseppe¹s red outfit off in the distance when I turned around. I had a great ride, making it home by 1:45p in plenty of time for my daughters recitals. I¹m glad I was home for them. 125miles even.
I realized how amazing beneficial it is to drink plain water at the end and pour some of it on the back of your head and neck. It cooled me right down and let me cruise in the last 20 miles feeling like new (well, not totally new). Why haven¹t I ever done this before. It was amazing. My low point was mile 90-105. Starting to overheat.
2008 B2B – John Whisnant
Ten things to do in preparation the 2009 B2B:
1. Make sure to bring E-Caps for Steve
2. Remember that suffering is an important part of life itself
3. Develop a mantra for long endless climbs
4. Buy Ray a new saddle
5. Have Harpoon change the end-of-ride T shirt to say “I am the Finisher”
instead of just “Finisher”
6. Have Harpoon open the Boston brewery on Saturday so we can have a beer of two before driving home
7. Eliminate the second water stop to make the route more challenging
8. Require the bike moving company to rack the bikes in numeric order
9. Find out what Giuseppe is taking as supplements
10. Spend from now until the 2009 B2B reminding Eric that he turned back before the really hard part of the route kicked in John
damonbates
HPG Bike Blog 