Whisky and Navigation
In the whisky wars of the late 19th century Canadien distiller Seagrams tried to skirt the prohibition on whisky imports by importing grain and distilling stateside. Not one to be duped, Hiram Walker found out about this and put an agent on the ship, the Forest City.
This agent had a magnet in his pocket and got on to the bridge next to the compass causing the ship to steer headlong through the fog into the rock cliff on an island in Lake Huron off Tobermory Ontario. A piece of that ship is still jammed into that cliff about 50’ up but most of it lies 100’+ under the waves and fog a monument to subterfuge, poor navigation security, hubris, leadership…and booze
I was reminded of that wreck this morning when I witnessed navigational confusion in the ranks at the fork in the road at the south end of Pine. More than half the group peeled off behind Eric, leaving him stranded out front like a centurion without a legion, possibly headed to their doom in the morning mist.
Who knows that fate awaited them? I can only attribute this age old act of sabotage to Willie’s limitless ability infect all the group’s Garmin computers. Heartwarming to know navigation continues to be a development oppy and that Steves bike has a reverse gear. I can only imaging what happened at the fork of Glen and Farm…must have been an audible of epic proportions
HPG Velo Early morning ride @6:20 and some important early season reminders
As you know, we’ve been riding at 6:20a M-F and will continue to do so until further notice 🙂
A few reminders for those getting back into group riding and plan to ride the bagel loop (or weekends) with us. For those of us that ride every day, we can’t hammer every ride so please try to go with the flow if you’re only joining once in a while.
Here’s the loop schedule that hasn’t changed since April 1962:
Monday- Powissett loop (easy- for real)
Tuesday- Farm bagel
Wednesday- Backwards bagel (everyone’s fav)
Thursday- regular Glen bagel
Friday- Social (the original social pace since Saturday is usually harder day- this is the goal unless I’m feeling good and change my mind)
Some reminders:
1. We ride early in the morning when most normal people are sleeping. Voices carry so please try to be considerate. I don’t mind being the jerk to remind you on the ride, so there’s that. Please pay special attention to the start of the ride on Dover and Livingston since it’s dense residential. The db level is limited to 50db and no more than 2500hz, so this rules out more than a whisper, high pitched voices, and squeaky shoes, poorly lubed chains, Jim’s brakes, and Matthias’ hips.
2. Just point out holes- you only need to PMC yell when it’s a monster or a rock the size of a small child that I missed and took down Audrey and that I’ll regret from then until eternity. Otherwise we ride this course everyday and know most of the holes. If you hit the sinkhole on Harding downhill to the right of the manhole, you’ll only do that once. A quiet point works for almost everything. Think of this as being a ride with clairvoyants- we just know what to do and what’s going to happen next. Be that rider that just knows.
3. Slowing and stopping- Since we ride the same course every single freaking day, we know where the stop signs and red lights are, and don’t need to yell it out. Unexpected slowdowns or deer crossings sure, go for it, but normal “of course we’re going to slow down instead of barreling onto a cross street,” save it for your other groups. Pay attention and know where we are.
4. We pull and rotate counter-clockwise. This is like clockwise, but the opposite. This is especially important on the Sunday ride when we motor down Rt 27 and Tom Snow, like clock work, yells “PACELINE!. The deal here is that we take short pulls, and pull over to the left just in front of the person who just pulled, unless of course if you’re Italian or live in Cambridge, then you’re allowed to pull off the front fun as long as your want, and accelerating wildly rocking side to side and totally destroy the paceline causing havoc in the back until Eric restores order and forms a new paceline behind you while Steve goes apoplectic.
5. Generally, when it’s your turn to pull, if you want to show you have more testosterone than the last person, please do so gradually.
6. Notwithstanding the foregoing, remember the person that just pulled up the hill, or took a monster pull, is usually toast. Out of pure human dignity and respect, please give them a few pedal strokes before you Froome them.
7. Please make sure your bike is in good working order. Loose stem nuts rattle (and for gods sake just because Landry’s puts them on, you don’t need them), properly stocked saddle bag is helpful so Eric can change your flat if you don’t know how, quiet chain, and quiet brakes. Yes, Jim, this means you. Toe those babies in or bring your bike over and I’ll work on your brakes.
8. Yellow line rule always except for me when its a quiet road and the right side is totally chopped up, like the decent after Nagog hill.
9. This year, let’s try to be extra cautious about spitting and farmers blows around other riders.
10. And last but not least, I have gotten better about letting people stop for more than 45 seconds (after at least 2.5 hrs of riding minimum), but please don’t push it. I could get cranky at any time without notice.
11. There’s always an eleven- It’s great to see and ride with friends again.
HPG Velo Assos
Damon –
Thanks for reaching into the way back bin for that ASSOS exchange! In the six degrees of separation spirit, vis a vis ASSOS and the HPG, here are the following facts:
- Greg Avis, a BA Williams grad, bought ASSOS as part of an investor group ASSOS http://www.bicycleretailer.com/international/2015/09/11/investors-acquire-majority-stake-assos.
- Who in the HPG is also a BA Williams grad and knows Greg quite well?
- There is such a person, but I do not have permission to use his or her name.
- The only fact I can share with you is that he or she is one of the very few active chicken farmers in Wellesley.
- Given this one degree of separation between the HPG chicken farmer and the ASSOS investor, it would seem to me that the HPG could do a lot better than Tim getting occasional love notes from KIM!
- LIKE FREE GEAR!!!
John
On Sun, Mar 11, 2018 at 4:34 PM, Damon Bates <damonbates1> wrote:
1. John I’ll refresh your memory here: https://hpgbike.com/2014/05/25/assos-they-just-do-some-things-better/
2. The white ribbon is in liu of a happy ending since the Italian Swiss border is quite removed from south natick. See featured image in #1 above for clarity
3. Zippers can be found on vintage Assos knickers and tights. I have several pair of each, all on their 2nd or 3rd chamois complements of Tim’s new Italian-Swiss BFF
HPG Velo Assos
1. John I’ll refresh your memory here: https://hpgbike.com/2014/05/25/assos-they-just-do-some-things-better/
2. The white ribbon is in liu of a happy ending since the Italian Swiss border is quite removed from south natick. See featured image in #1 above for clarity
3. Zippers can be found on vintage Assos knickers and tights. I have several pair of each, all on their 2nd or 3rd chamois complements of Tim’s new Italian-Swiss BFF
HPG Velo Fwd: Can the Length of Sweden (Long Ride) become the longest HPG email thread in HPG email history?
Excellent John, I will need to look that porno up. I must have missed it.
In your search for “fact based” tidbits you may have overlookd the fact that out Butt Nugget In Chief has prohibited the use of seven words or phrases today:
and “fact based” is likely close enough to “evidence based” to get you on a watch list. My advice: becareful and seek willie’s guidance and his friends protection.
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On Dec 16, 2017, at 9:36 PM, John Whisnant <jwwhisnant> wrote:
Tim –
You started this controversy, and I hope my internet search for a fact based response may end it. Through the magic of google algorithms, I was able to find that in fact The Length of Sweden is the title of a porno vimeo (see attached). In addition, and even more incredibly, it appears as if Willie may have been a porn star before he became a doctor!John
On Sat, Dec 16, 2017 at 7:57 PM, Tim Donahue <tpd001> wrote:
So far this thread has gone over like a
On 12/16/2017 5:47 PM, Damon Bates wrote:
John I’m reasonably confident that the longest HPG thread ever debated the pros and cons of (you) changing out bottom bracket parts at the start line of major races perhaps even the Senior Olympics.
Runner-up topic for the longest thread was probably the heated and protracted discussion of yellow cards versus red cards being handed out passing on the Hills by the Weston country club in the face of oncoming traffic?
On Dec 16, 2017, at 1:05 PM, John Whisnant <jwwhisnant> wrote:
Subject: Can the Length of Sweden (Long Ride) become the longest HPG email thread in HPG email history?
HPGers-
Due to Tim’s ability to spark controversy and then deny any obvious intent and Damon’s and my inability to let things go, the email thread re: The Length of Sweden (X rated) is now 10 exchanges long. Not bad for such an inconsequential topic, but there have been many that were much longer.
Does anyone know which is the longest HPG thread in HPG email history? I’m thinking it was Thom asking if anyone knew a good Wellesley area plumber. This would be so wrong if true. Or maybe it was the thread about LED bike lights? If someone can come up with the longest email thread count, I have no doubt that Damon and I single handedly can extend the Length of Sweden until it occupies the top spot.
John
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HPG Velo Saturday ride reinforces HPG Rules of Disorder
HPGers –
The ride this morning, once we got to Concord, exemplified and serves to reinforce the four fundamental HPG Rules of Disorder (ROD as in “Spare the ROD and spoil the cyclist”):
- RULE ONE: There shall be no agreement on where we shall meet for the ride start
- Most of us agreed to meet at Peet’s at 8am
- But for reasons known only to Giuseppe, he and he alone wanted to meet at Weston center
- Ergo – the 14 Peet’s originated cyclists detoured to meet solo Giuseppe with no complaints or bickering
RULE TWO: There shall be no agreement on where we are going once we do not agree on where we shall meet for the ride start
- Some wanted to go to to Hollis
- Some were going to Carlisle
- Some were going to do Carlisle ‘expanded’
RULE THREE: There shall be no agreement on who is going where once do not agree on where we are going and where we shall meet for the ride start
- With three routes in mind, we all went up Monument together
- Which was good until we got on Rt. 225
- Then some of us turned right for Carlisle ‘expanded’
- Some went straight to continue to Fern’s to go to Hollis
- Some went straight even though they had meant to turn right
RULE FOUR: There shall be no agreement on how to reorganize once there is no agreement on who is going where and where we are going and where we shall meet for the ride start
- Some who turned right decided to turn around and chase down to bring back those whom they thought meant to turn right but had not
- Some stopped to wait – thinking we would regroup by default
- Some continued on to the beaver dam to wait there with no plan in mind
- Minutes ticked by. Then more minutes.
RULES OF DISORDER OUTCOME: With no agreement on how to reorganize once there is no agreement on who is going where and where we are going and where we shall meet for the ride start, everything will work according to the plan which we didn’t make in the first place
- Steve, Thom and I bailed out and went to Fern’s to have a coffee.
- As we were about to leave, figuring everyone would eventually get back to Peet’s on their own or in small groups, the entire Carlisle group had somehow reassembled and rode by.
- Thom and Steve joined them, and I went back to Cambridge on 225.
Rides like this are invaluable since they serve to reinforce the fundamental HPG Rules of Disorder. Great ride!
John
damonbates
HPG Bike Blog 